Words both describe and create our understanding of our world, other people, ourselves—of our experience of life itself. There’s a word we bandy around a lot . . . Integrity. We generally use it to describe behavior that is moral and ethical by our social standards. There’s a deeper, more profound meaning to Integrity that I think our society and each of us (myself included) can apply to great value in living better, more meaningful lives-together and individually.

The root word of Integrity is from the Latin ‘Integer’: to be One, whole, and complete. In that deeper definition both Mother Teresa and Adolf Hitler had huge integrity.  Their behavior and conduct were extremely consistent with their beliefs, values and inner selves.  Of course, from a moral perspective that’s a different story altogether.

Some of us don’t let our full, true, authentic selves show to others because we see risks in that, think it won’t get us what we want, or don’t even know who we are. That’s living without the personal integrity of walking our talk—from our “inside our heart and head talk” to our real-world actions and behavior.  We put on masks (not the Covid-protecting type) to get something we think we want, be accepted, get power, love, money, or likes on social media.  Maybe our “mask” is a piece of our true self—maybe it’s completely fake. Either way, putting on a mask is a missed opportunity to grow, share, and connect with others by being our true, whole and best selves.

In U.S. society, not wearing some form of mask is pretty complicated at times because we have very situational definitions of socially appropriate behavior. Being our same true and complete selves at a religious service, workplace and nightclub might be more than a bit problematic! Even in those very different environments, we can be our true and complete self that is appropriate for the situation.  That’s not lacking in Integrity by being untrue or fake.

At times in my life, I’ve not been my true, complete self—because I thought it would get me something I wanted. There’s a fundamental problem with that. If I’m not my full authentic self, then the basis of whatever I might achieve is built on a weak foundation of half-truths. Or no foundation at all. When I’ve failed to live with Integrity, that lack of foundation has always led to problems later.

Even sadder, some of us keep our true self hidden from our own selves and miss out on being, growing, and sharing our best self. Because we don’t even know and accept ourselves.  That lack of self-knowing and acceptance almost always comes from feelings of insecurity or inferiority—and leads to behavior which is hugely destructive to ourselves and others.  People act out to feed their need for acceptance or power so they feel valued and there’s never, ever enough. Worse, the premise is simply not true. Every person has some unique great talents. And some things which he or she doesn’t do as well. Our diversity of capabilities is what let us accomplish amazing things when we work together.

One of the strongest predictors of personal and leadership effectiveness is self-awareness. Once we know and accept who we are—in all of our individual glorious strengths, weaknesses and, yes, quirky idiosyncrasies, then we can apply and grow those to better and better effect. That’s the first key step to personal integrity—knowing, understanding and being our true authentic self—with ourselves and everyone else.  Isn’t anything else fundamentally a deceit?

I have a mask collection I’ve been adding to for over 30 years. Thankfully, it continues to grow with gifts from family and friends. There are masks from every continent (except Antarctica) and they represent the delightful diversity of expression across humanity.  At a deeper level, it’s a poetic way of saying to all who I welcome to my home—wear no mask! Please be your true self and let me know you with integrity—and I’ll do the same. Imagine how much better we’d get along, understand, connect, and create together if we all lived with personal integrity from the inside out and let our true spirits show in all that we do?  There can’t be a fake connection when it’s built on truth with integrity. (Now we all understand that there are a few bad actors whose true selves are a bit scary. Wouldn’t it be better if we got to see that sooner too?).

A bit of research reveals that ‘Integrity’ is a Late Middle English word from the French intégrité and Latin ‘integritas.’  ‘Integer’, the root of those two words, is Latin for intact, complete and whole as described above. Here’s where things get even more interesting. ‘Integer’ is a combination of two Latin words ‘In’ (as prefix for negative, being without) and ‘tangere’ which means ‘to touch’.  When we delve into the root meaning of Integrity, it is being untouched—true, authentic and complete without manipulation. Nothing fake. With ourselves and with others. For a smile, ‘tangere’ comes from ‘tango’-Latin for touch.  In the last few centuries, tango has added some new meanings, including that spectacular way of dancing .

What if we all danced through life as our whole, best selves all the time? Now that would be truly living with Integrity.

Shall we dance? On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?